Character education-teaching it to our teens
Why modeling action to a teen is more important than your words
I have had the awesome privilege of presenting character education assemblies and programs to high schools, middle schools and youth conferences to teens across the United States. Recently I passed the threshold of speaking from theory about how to communicate with teens to the practical application of having a teenager living in our home. My oldest son Benjamin, now a teen, started his freshman year in high school and like all transitions in life, it has come with it’s fair share of challenges. As the father of three I realize the importance of character education in our home and that it’s not what I say, it’s how I live my life. I think it is important for us to understand that children and teenagers are always watching and listening and learning.
Character education is more about what teenagers are observing than about what adults are saying. I know it is easy to become frustrated with teenagers who don't seem to listen or understand what you are telling them. Our words are often met with blank stares or looks of disbelief, however understand that teenagers are always watching evaluating and modeling our actions. I'm fortunate to have three well-rounded children that I have had the opportunity to work with for a lifetime. Too often as educators we only have a short period of time to work with the students who pass through our lives. This is why it is critical for us remember that kids are always watching and yes, judging our words against our actions. I'm not suggesting that we try to put on a face that tells the world we always have it all together. On the contrary teens need to understand that adults face challenges in their every day lives and it's these challenges and how we approach them that defines our character.
After my school and youth conference programs I quite often talk to teenagers who tell me heart-wrenching stories of their home and school life. If there's one thing that life has taught me, it’s that some of these young adults will fall victim to their circumstances and end up wandering without direction or hope, and yet others will find strength in the challenges of their life, overcome the adversities that stand in their way, and emerge as outstanding contributors.
So what makes the difference between those who give up and those who meet the challenges of life? Obviously there's no one answer. However I am convinced that the role models children observe in their life make the difference. We are all aware of adults who came from poverty, tragic backgrounds, adverse living and educational conditions who overcame these barriers to become outstanding success stories as adults. Many factors contribute to each individual story, however after reading numerous biographies of successful people, I’m convinced each of these people found a role model at some point in their lives that they observed and learned from. Usually this was an individual who not only spoke to them through their words but to their actions and caused a spark that ignited a passion and the drive to better their lives. It was their role model’s character that allowed them to form their new beliefs about who they were and what was possible.
It is important for us to remember that no matter what background a child has come from what adversities they've had to face in their life we can have an impact on them because they’re always watching us and measuring our words against our actions-that is what character education is about in the real world. Remember we don't need to appear perfect it is much more important to be consistent and show young adults that we face challenges and difficulties and disappointments every day and it's our character values and maturity that help us meet these challenges in life. Even a child from the worst background can be reached with consistency love and understanding.
Rodney Rash